


Give me something I can believe

by ViolettaValery



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 21:17:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18169991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolettaValery/pseuds/ViolettaValery
Summary: “Did he tell you he loved you?” His father’s disdain is palpable. “His kind are incapable of love. They know nothing of loyalty, or devotion, or self-sacrifice. He never wanted you. You were merely a means to an end.”Alex has a choice to make.





	Give me something I can believe

“Guerin is one of them.”

His father drops the words on him like a revelation. Then there is proof after proof, records and video recordings, everything the military has discovered about aliens coupled with everything they have on Michael, so that however much Alex wants to doubt, the proof is inescapable.

“Did he tell you he loved you?” His father’s disdain is palpable, but Alex can tell he’s also enjoying this. “His kind are incapable of love. They know nothing of loyalty, or devotion, or self-sacrifice. He never wanted _you._ You were merely a means to an end.”

His father continues speaking, but Alex is no longer listening. Instead, memories flood his mind until he forgets where he is, remembering Michael’s nervousness when he’d kissed Alex for the first time. The stars in his eyes the first time they’d made love, each touch tentative, like he couldn’t believe this was happening. Michael, kneeling before him with adoration in a cramped Airstream in the desert. They’d taken their clothes off until only Alex’s prosthetic remained, and Michael had eased it off just as gently. Alex felt suddenly vulnerable – not that he doubted Michael’s desire, which had burned incandescently for more than a decade - but he had so much _less_ to give now. But Michael had leaned forward, kissing every inch of the scar where his leg ended, until any trepidation he felt flitted away under the onslaught of Michael’s devotion.

He resurfaces to see his father’s sneering face once again and catches the last of his words: _monster._ And it is like a dam finally breaking.

“The only monster here is you,” he says with a calm he does not feel.

…..

The vast expanse of the desert has never seemed so endless, and the drive to Michael’s is agonizing,

“Tell me you love me,” Alex demands without preamble the second he sees Michael.

Michael crosses his arms in front of his chest. He looks bleary-eyed and exhausted and oh-so-broken, and it is ironic, Alex thinks, that he has never seen Michael look quite so painfully human as now. Alex’s heart clenches at the thought of how much suffering he has inflicted on the man he purports to love.

 “So you think you can dump me, ignore me for three weeks, and then just come here in the middle of the night and ask that?” Michael demands, and, well, Alex deserves this. He deserves all the yelling and anger, and he’ll take it all, rage and incandescent fury, because that at least means Michael _cares._

“Please.” Alex is aware that he sounds outright hysterical. He feels like his entire life hinges on Michael’s words. He knows what they’ll be, but still it feels like Michael holds his entire life in just one phrase. “I need to hear you to say it before I throw my entire life away for you

Michael has rarely been able to resist him. He had thought it a flaw, sometimes, but now he hopes and prays to a higher power that he doesn’t believe in that Michael doesn’t put up a fight and interrogate him. But desperation must reach Michael, because he hesitates for only a second.

“I love you,” Michael says simply. “I always have.”

Relief floods through him – not because of _what_ Michael said, he realizes, but because of the fact that he was willing to say it. _That,_ Alex realizes, is what he came here to find out.

“Alex, what’s going on?” Michael’s voice exudes concern as he approaches Alex. Even after everything, Alex thinks, Michael’s first instinct is to protect him.

“I know what you are,” he says, and Michael freezes halfway to him. “My father told me.”

Michael’s mask slides on with practiced ease, and it’s no longer his beautiful, kind lover who unknowingly wears his heart on his sleeve. It’s the devil-may-care rogue who picks fights over trifles.

“What is this, then, an interrogation? You here to – “

“He told me that your kind are incapable of love,” Alex interrupts him. “That you knew nothing of anything that makes us human.” Alex repeats his father’s words with disdain, every single one leaving a sour taste in his mouth. “But I know just how wrong he is.” He meets Michael’s gaze head-on, willing him to understand.

Michael blinks, surprised. “Oh.”

“He knows about you, and Max, and Isobel,” Alex continues, because their time is running out. “The three of you need to leave, get as far away from here as possible.”

Alex has barely stopped talking before Michael starts searching frantically for his phone, quickly dialing a number when he finds it. Having made the calls, Michael returns to looking at him. “What about you?” he asks.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Three weeks ago, you didn’t want to be seen with a _criminal,_ and now you’re going to go AWOL with me?”

“Walking away from you – it broke me, Guerin. But I did it, because my father’s always hated you, and being with you made you a target. Staying away protected you. But now that you’re a target anyway, staying with you protects you.”

But Michael doesn’t look convinced. In fact, Michael looks the very opposite of convinced, and Alex falters.

“I don’t want you to be with me just because you’ve decided it’s the most _logical_ choice,” Michael sneers. “I want you to actually choose _being with me._ ”

“Guerin,” he says, trying to keep his voice even. They don’t have time for this, his practical, airman brain reminds him, even as the rest of him knows that Michael has every right to doubt him. “When the three of you flee, they’ll know it was me. They might court-martial me, but probably they’ll just make me disappear without a trace. Either that or I come with you, go on the run from the _entire fucking military_ because of you. Those are my only two options. I knew that coming here. But I did it, I _chose_ to do that, because I love you.”

“You could’ve just said that.”

Alex approaches him, and reaches out a tentative hand. Michael has never shied away from his touch, but now he holds himself deathly still, watching warily. 

“I will always choose you,” Alex says.

Michael exhales shakily. “You really don’t care what I am?” he asks.  

“You have never given me reason to doubt your love for me, not even for a second.” Alex tells him. “ _That_ is the only thing I care about.”

When Michael kisses him, Alex thinks that humans could stand to learn a thing or three about love from beings like Michael.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I wrote this before 1x08 and just let it languish, and then the show actually Did That and gave us a very similar scene with Jesse and Alex, though I was really hoping they'd take it further than they did and so that is how this fic happened. 
> 
> Title from Within Temptation's "All I Need."


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